I was in Bloomfield last Saturday afternoon when I got the call that Richard Weaver-Bey died. I told the person on the other end of the phone I did not believe her. She slowly repeated it to me several times to make sure it sunk in. I hung up the phone in disbelief and then cried.
Tons of people from Hartford to Los Angeles knew Richard Weaver-Bey. However, what I want to share with you is what Richard meant to me and the lessons I learned.
It was the summer of 1994 when I met Richard. I just finished a game of three-on-three hoops at a park in the west end of Hartford, and he was playing a game of 21. We had an argument. I yelled at him because he chastised me for not bringing Chuck D. of Public Enemy to his radio station at WKND for an interview. He said although other radio stations were larger and reached a wider audience, what mattered was that our community heard him first. His words stung.
The first lesson I learned from Richard is to put your community first.
Friends And Enemies
Another lesson I learned from Richard was to greet friends and enemies with a smile. I marveled at how he would go out of his way to be kind to those who he knew betrayed him and talked behind his back. With that Cheshire cat grin permanently pasted on his face, Richard never spoke ill of anyone publicly or privately. When I challenged him about this naïve way of being, he would smile, lean in, lift his left hand, point and whisper, “Yvonne, it is so important that you treat all people with kindness. Even if they stab you in the back, you keep on smiling.”
I thought this philosophy of ‘Richardism’ was weak. I did not get it then, but I get it now. His smile was his resolve to not let anyone steal his joy. Love was his sword.
I learned from Richard that sometimes it is more important to invest in potential rather than experience. He embodied this concept for me and countless others he empowered. He was my first major client, hiring me 12 years ago to be his public relations and event management consultant. Without hesitation and against the advice of naysayers, he risked hiring an unknown. I put together three major events for Gayle King when she launched her national talk show.
Richard included me with his long list of invited guests to nearly every major VIP and black-tie gala from Hartford to New York City. He gave me the opportunity to meet the right people so my business could grow. Some of those right people were Phil Schonberger, Marilda Gandara of the Aetna Foundation and Dave D’Eramo of St. Francis Hospital.
Because of him, they took a chance on my potential too. Now that I have experience, I too look for the potential in others.
Value of Relationships
I learned the most valuable currency is relationships and how one must show honor. Richard shined when he spoke from so many podiums over the years. When he spoke, he gave others the glory. The last time I heard him honor someone very dear to himself was Harold Rothstein at the Urban League Equal Opportunity Dinner last November. He detailed Mr. Rothstein’s tireless commitment, humility and generosity. Mr. Rothstein, — not a man of many words or one who seeks the limelight — was moved.
Another lesson I learned is that our legacy comes from how we celebrate the lives of others. Goodness was Richard’s armor.
During his bleakest moments in business, Richard used humor to cope. He taught me one final lesson — “An optimist laughs to forget; a pessimist forgets to laugh.” Laughter was his protector. I will miss Richard.
Yvonne R. Davis is the president and chief executive officer of Davis Communications.
Editor’s note: Richard Weaver-Bey was HBJ’s 1997 Business Person of The Year award winner.
