Her hospital office overlooks a bustling walkway. His workspace is their two-story, four-bedroom home.
Almost four years ago, Larry Baker followed his wife, Mary, from their hometown to a new job hundreds of miles away where she was named administrative director for cardiovascular services for a health center. Larry, 53, remains unemployed.
“When people ask what I do, I say ‘I’m a house husband,” says Larry, who worked for years in technology security. “All my friends are envious of me. They think I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
Ten years ago, such a situation might have been embarrassing to a man, says Karl Ahlrichs, a human resources consultant with Professional Staff Management. But today, a growing number of families are relocating because of the wife’s job.
“If we accept the premise that the primary breadwinner can pick the location, and if you look at trends in college enrollment where more and more women are studying careers commonly dominated by men, then I think it’s natural that men would follow their wives for the sake of gainful employment,” says Ahlrichs.
The Money Trail
In one of the most recent studies available by Allied Van Lines, 77 percent of the women and 58 percent of the men surveyed say they would move for their spouse’s job. Yet, according to the U.S. Department of Labor, women now hold 56.6 percent of higher-paying professional, managerial and related jobs.
As his wife’s career took off, Larry Baker began redefining his role. The latest move was the third for the couple, all for the sake of Mary’s career.
“He’s very good at packing and taking the pool table apart,” says Mary, 44. With each move, Larry was the one who stayed behind to prepare their home for sale and to see it through the closing.
It was shortly after the most recent move when Larry severely injured his left hand with a table saw. The accident resulted in a series of surgeries. They decided it was best for him to remain at home.
“I was the baby in my family, and he knows how to spoil me,” says Mary. “I saw my mother, who was divorced and struggled to raise five kids, and I knew I’d rather work two jobs than work at home.”
In 2002, the Families and Work Institute and the American Business Collaboration — a collective of large corporations — commissioned a study of generation and gender in the workplace.
The study found baby boomers were more likely than others to be “work-centric,” meaning they place a higher priority on work than family. On the other hand, Generation X and Generation Y workers were more likely to be “dual-centric” or “family-centric.”
Playing Catch-Up
Dual-centric workers place their jobs and families at roughly the same priority levels, while family-centric workers put families above all else.
More than two years ago, Eugene Phillips, 32, followed his wife, Latoia, 31, across four states, where she accepted a pharmaceutical job with Eli Lilly.
Eugene Phillips lived in his new home for a year before he landed a job with Orkin Exterminating Co. as a commercial property manager. It was the first time since age 15 that Eugene had been unemployed. His previous jobs ranged from customer service to security.
“He’s always gone on interviews and been hired right away. We didn’t think it would take that long,” says Latoia. “If it was frustrating, we talked. People need to know to talk if they go through trials.”
Such roles wouldn’t be successful if the marriage partners lacked mutual respect, says Latoia.
“We have a great relationship, and we’ve always communicated. When he had trouble getting a job, I just tried to be supportive.”
While he waited for the right job, Eugene spent time with the couple’s newborn daughter, Corrine, now 2, and took some real-estate classes online.
Married almost nine years, the Phillipses now have a second daughter, Kaitlin, 10 months.
“We did have some family members who felt the man should lead the house, but we feel like when you get married, you become one,” says Latoia. “You become your own family and you’re not married to the cousins and other family members. This is our decision, our business.”
