“Managers as Mentors — Building Partnerships for Learning” by Chip Bell and Marshall Goldsmith (Third Edition, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, $22.95). Mentoring = leaders creating leaders. The process involves far more than passing down experienced-based knowledge and acting as a sounding board. Strong mentors impart the need for lifelong learning (i.e. continuous improvement) to their protégés — as echoed in one of Goldsmith’s books “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.”
Successful mentoring relies on two-way communication. That starts by teaching protégés to ask the right questions. “Effective questioning brings insight, which fuels curiosity, which cultivates wisdom.” Mentors connect dots by constantly asking what, and how.
The mentor must ask questions that get the protégé thinking. But before asking thought-provoking questions, the mentor must stage content and context with a statement. Why? It shows the protégé that you recognize what she or he has been working on and that you want to learn more about it. Seeing the mentor in always-learning mode shows the protégé that the mentor “walks the talk.” The protégé will also understand that the conversation is a teaching/learning moment, not an interrogation.
What types of questions should a mentor ask? Focus on what and how. Examples: “What have you learned about … that you didn’t expect to learn?” “How does this … differ from previous ones?” You should be pleased when the protégé pauses to think a bit before answering; thought-provoking questions don’t prompt of-the-cuff answers.
The authors advise avoiding questions beginning with why because you’ll appear to shift from learning to judgmental mode. You can use a what to get at the why: “What influenced you to make your choices?”
Great mentors are also great listeners. They give their employees their uninterrupted, undivided attention. Doing so shows they “focus on focus” — another “walk the talk” lesson. Mentors study body language, too, because it tells them if the words match the music. They are cognizant of their body language as well to ensure they’re really listening.
Key takeaway: Mentoring relationships are partnerships where knowledge is shared.
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“The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace” by Cy Wakeman (Jossey-Bass, $27.95). In a 2012 survey by Right Management, 44 percent of the respondents said they were unhappy at work, and 21 percent said they were somewhat unhappy. Who/What creates the unhappiness? Wakeman believes “You are the source of your own misery, and only you have the power to end it.” She points out that there have always been disruptive influences and contentious issues in the workplace, and that drama queens and kings won’t adapt. Unhappiness reigns in their workspace.
If you’re tired of Monday Moaning, follow Wakemen’s five rules to get out of the hole you dug. 1. “Your level of accountability determines your level of happiness.” Commit to doing what it takes to overcome obstacles and achieve outcomes. Become a can-do person.
2. “Suffering is optional.” Look at the facts — not what you think should be. If you don’t like being micromanaged, learn how to manage up. If others bug you, learn to appreciate their perspectives and skills.
3. “Your action, not opinion, adds value.” What you do counts. The most powerful words you can use: “Yes, I can.” “I appreciate the opportunity.” “How can I help?”
4. “Change is opportunity. Say ‘Yes’ to what’s next.” Resisting change keeps you from learning how to develop new skills and add more value.
5. “You will always have extenuating circumstances.” This is a corollary to #3. Ensure you’re clear on goals, roles and priorities. “Confront conflict early, calmly, and in the spirit of we.”
The bottom line: “Own your outcomes, enjoy the positive, and learn from the negative.”
Jim Pawlak is a nationally syndicated book reviewer.
