We talk about the importance of relationships in business. Truth be told, it’s the foundation for success, be it in sales, leadership or just getting along with co-workers and doing your job.
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We talk about the importance of relationships in business. Truth be told, it's the foundation for success, be it in sales, leadership or just getting along with co-workers and doing your job.
A relationship develops when two people get to know each other and connect with each other on some level beyond just a surface acquaintance. The connection's strength is dependent on the depth of knowledge, understanding and trust that is built up over time.
To facilitate the “getting to know you” process, consider the questions listed below. These are not normal questions usually asked in a business environment. After all, business is business and the conversations should be about the business issues at hand.
Relationships though are immune to the context of business or personal. A relationship is a relationship, regardless of context. These questions go beyond the fact-finding of a sales call. They go beyond the familiarity that is built around jobs and what you do. They go beyond the superficial conversations about sports, hobbies and vacations.
These questions reflect your curiosity and interest in the other person. What makes these questions work is that they intentionally cause someone to reflect on their response, so you get to learn more about them as a person — what's important, their values, etc.
As you consider the questions, think about how you might respond to them. Your level of comfort with a question indicates the degree that you will share more of yourself.
The best way to get to know someone is for you to share with them and for them to share with you. Together, you share more of yourselves — a strong foundation towards a good relationship. Here are the questions:
1. You can choose any three people with whom to have dinner. Who would you choose?
2. At the end of the day you are smiling because it was a good day. What made it a good day?
3. You are a member of Marvel Comics' The Avengers. What's your super power?
4. For one meal you are instilled with the skills and creativity of the finest chef in the world. What would your menu include?
5. What's your dream vacation, even if it doesn't seem possible to take it?
6. From where do you get your news?
7. Who's your favorite musical artist? Second favorite? Third favorite?
8. Who was your favorite teacher? What made them your favorite?
9. How long have you and your oldest friend known each other?
10. What's your favorite social-media platform, if any?
11. What sinful dessert would you eat every time, given the opportunity?
12. What is your favorite book of all time? Author? Movie? TV show?
13. What TV show do you watch that you want no one to find out about?
These questions could surprise someone, especially in a business setting. Timing when to ask them is important. Obviously when business topics are on the table it's not appropriate to ask about someone's favorite book or meal.
However, when meeting someone new, one of these questions could be a great icebreaker, and could go a long way to generating an engaging and informative conversation. It's also interesting to ask a question of someone you have known for awhile. It can take the relationship to a new level of strength and understanding.
And, be willing to share of yourself to the same depth you are asking of the other person. The objective is to really get to know each other. When each party has a deeper understanding of the other person, the business discussions become so much more open.
Ken Cook is the co-founder of How to Who and co-author of How to WHO: Selling Personified, a book and program on building business through relationships. Learn more at www.howtowho.com.
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