One of the few urban woes with which downtown Hartford doesn’t seem to be afflicted is the nuisance of panhandling. Unlike in many cities, passers-by in Hartford are rarely asked for a bit of change for bus fare or food or cocaine.
It wasn’t always that way. The Hartford City Council passed an anti-panhandling law in 1995, which irritated the Connecticut Civil Liberties Union at the time, but did seem to perform some kind of law enforcement magic.
Another theory is that by the time a vagrant asked a Travelers actuary for a quarter, and the actuary estimated the marginal value of such a transaction, multiplied by the opportunity cost that was lost in the process, divided by the utility of the cost of money, the panhandler gave up and became some kind of newspaper columnist or something.
As a matter of law, panhandling and loitering and standing around with a come-hither look like Cohen the Columnist or a prostitute are murky notions that are subject to confusion and potential abuse by the cops. A 1982 New Jersey Supreme Court decision dumped that state’s anti-loitering ordinance, which prohibited “remaining idle in essentially one location and shall include the concepts of spending time idly, loafing, or walking around aimlessly.”
You see the problem. That definition would apply to Connecticut’s General Assembly and the Hartford Business Journal newsroom.
One thing that Hartford may have inadvertently chased away is the street performer, who sings or dances or plays jazz instruments or sermonizes about the fornicators and the wrath of God. Except for some guys who sometimes strike up a tune near the Bushnell concert hall on the night of performances, Hartford doesn’t have much of that kind of fun.
In Seattle, a federal judge tossed out the city’s regulation of downtown entertainers, who were required to register and wear badges, and not ask for money. A blues singer wearing an official, certified, filed-in-triplicate Seattle registration badge would have lost some of the magic, don’t you think?
A handful of cities have experimented with beggar registration over the years, prompting muddled legal opinions and unenthusiastic enforcement. As a Canadian journalist put it a few years ago, how exactly do you encourage beggar compliance? Peer pressure?
Actually, peer pressure is part of the problem. As a freelance writer and, thus, something of a beggar, I think roaming the streets looking for cash is a noble profession — but my wife would look down on it.
But then, I heard about Batman. His actual name is Walsh Ian Nichols, who roams the mean streets of Tampa, Fla., wearing a Batman mask and cape. His business plan is a little fuzzy, but Walsh does get hired occasionally by clubs to entice customers to come on in, have a drink, and talk to and about Batman.
I’m thinking, I could beg on the streets of Hartford, wearing a Batman mask, which would disguise my identity as a famous, high-visibility columnist with my picture in the paper that doesn’t pay me nearly enough.
But then, I hear that Batman had been arrested. Tampa cops ordered him to remove his mask, which violates some sort of old state law dealing with “criminal anarchy.” Nichols refused. Off to the pokey he went.
In the end, a county judge dismissed the charges and Batman is free to fly around and do good works.
Wouldn’t it be cool to see Batman prowling the streets of Hartford? If you see him, you should give him a tip. Thank you.
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Laurence D. Cohen is a freelance writer.
Reader comments:
“Mr. Cohen, you obviously don’t walk on the streets of Hartford much. I am entertained daily by “unregistered storytellers” requesting subsidies, here are some of the more memorable ones:
“I just got off the bus from Rikers, my mom is dying and I need to get the bus to New Britain” (state lot across from Bushnell theater)
“My sister and I got into a fight, she left me at the Civic Center and I need gas money” (same story 3 days in a row in front of Trumbull Kitchen)
“My wife and daughter got in a fight, daughter left the baby with us, took the diaper bag, please take me to the grocery store and buy me diapers and formula” (asked in front of Gold building on a Tuesday and in front of City Hall the following Friday, claimed to work for and had ID badge from Bozzuto’s, and that’s why I should trust him)
See? Very entertaining.” — Robin Zaleski, PME Enterprises LLCÂ
