A manager at a large financial services company was conducting a performance evaluation with one of his top employees. In his feedback, the manager specified eight areas where the employee had excelled and noted one area where he had to improve. The employee went home and told his wife, “My manager really laced into me today. I got so criticized.”
Listening to advice or criticism is not easy for most people. In fact, some people just can’t accept any criticism, even if it’s constructive. In today’s business environment, where the landscape is changing rapidly, learning how to accept feedback is a key skill for advancing. Everyone can improve performance.
Expect The Worst
When most people hear something that strikes them as negative, they recoil as quickly as if a rattlesnake were about to bite their foot. Picture the way most employees react when their annual performance evaluation is approaching. Rather than view the appraisal as an opportunity to improve, most employees consider it the annual judgment event.
Why do people react so defensively to criticism, even rejecting comments that are helpful and constructive? Some people feel belittled. Ego gets in the way of concentrating on how they can be a better salesperson, marketer, banker and so on.
Everyone can learn something from a manager who has more experience. Rather than viewing feedback as judgment, consider looking at it as an opportunity to grow, learn and acquire a new skill. Be grateful for the suggestions.
Everyday Learning
Remember when you were learning to drive and the instructor told you to look both ways at an intersection and check your rearview mirror? You didn’t say, “Please stop judging me.” You knew you were learning and were open to criticism. Use that attitude at work, and you’ll see it as a means of improving.
Feedback, of course, doesn’t only come from managers or during annual appraisals. It can come at any time from colleagues or customers. If you’re open to listening and most important, adapting your behavior, you can learn from anyone.
Develop an ability to listen carefully. Ernest Hemingway, the Nobel Prize winning novelist who wrote “A Farewell to Arms,” once said, “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” Consider what the other person said and then do something about it.
When I wrote my first book, “Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive,” my editor offered some advice on revising sentences. He encouraged me to write shorter and punchier sentences. Instead of viewing my editor’s comments as criticism, I saw the response as a way to improve my writing. All professional writers know: Writing is rewriting. It comes with the territory.
Self-Confidence
Ultimately, accepting feedback has to do with each person’s inner confidence. If you really believe in yourself, you’ll be open to criticism, learn from it, and improve performance. If you feel inferior, you’ll turn constructive criticism into a negative.
Changing performance results is improving bottom-line performance. The sales associate who improves customer service and the marketer who learns to handle clients more effectively are all examples of staff that listened, did something about it and boosted sales.
Here are some specific tips for how to improve your ability to accept feedback:
• Don’t react immediately. Don’t get bent out of shape and defend your behavior. Absorb the comments and ask your manager to discuss it at a later time.
• Consider asking for more specific feedback. If your manager says your cold calling techniques need improvement, ask for suggestions on how to improve.
• After consideration, develop a plan to address it. Write your manager a note, thanking him or her for the evaluation, and explaining how you’re going to incorporate those suggestions into your everyday activity. Then do it!
Above all, keep it in perspective. Consider this thought on feedback from Jacques Plante, the NHL Hall of Fame goalie, who said: “How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?”
Mackay’s Moral: If you want a place in the sun, you’ve got to expect a few blisters.n
Harvey Mackay is president of MackayMitchell Envelope Company and a nationally syndicated columnist.
