🔒Keys to not letting a business run your life

1 of 2

“Killing It! — An Entrepreneur's Guide to Keeping Your Head Without Losing Your Heart” by Sheryl O'Loughlin (Harper Business, $27.99).

O'Loughlin, a been-there-grown-that (Clif Bar, Plum Organics and REBBL) entrepreneur and former executive director of Stanford University's Center for Entrepreneurial Studies, begins her lessons-learned-the-hard-way tale with the major entrepreneurial pitfall: the inability to distinguish between intensity (good because it drives you forward) and obsession (bad because it holds you back). She sees obsession as intensity on steroids, which results in roid rage — you care so much about the business that it defines you.

The obsessed are on 24/7/365 and replay events (especially any missteps) over and over and over. For them, good things never happen as often or as fast as they expect. With a “glass always half empty” view, obsessives slip into self-dissatisfaction. “They hide hardship behind images of being in total control.” Their discontent at work affects (alienates?) those closest to them; friends disappear, too. Thus, begins their spiral into depression and unleashes personal demons — anorexia was the one O'Loughlin conquered.

To stay intense without crossing the line into obsession, you need to change the focus of your self-talk. Instead of focusing on the state of the business, think in personal terms: “Am I having fun?” “Am I living up to the values that are most important to me?” “Am I really building strong bonds with those around me?” “Am I taking care of my health?”

Here are some of the other lessons wannabe entrepreneurs need to learn: Starting a business isn't a way to solve any employment problem. Without real love for the endeavor's purpose, an entrepreneur won't have the commitment needed to drive themselves and the business forward.

Any business builds around solving a customer's problem — better, faster, less expensive, etc. While you own the business, and make all the decisions, you're not really in charge; the customer is, and what competitors do affects your business, too. You'd better know the ins and outs of the market before you enter it. And even when you “know,” remember that there's always more to learn.

Your team needs to share the vision of the brand from the consumer's viewpoint. At Clif Bar, company camping and skiing trips connected employees to what its consumers did. With that connection, employees stay engaged. Entrepreneurs reinforce the engagement by getting to know employees. When people know the boss cares about them as individuals, they see themselves and their jobs as important. While, it's often easy for the owner to forget about “management by walking around” because of thoughts about what needs to be done and when, employees will notice the absence of connection.

Entrepreneurs need a peer-support network. The ability to share experiences with other business owners helps answer questions and provides different perspectives (particularly if those owners are in a different market). Many entrepreneurs believe they don't have the time to build a peer network. They forget that they don't know what they don't know and waste time trying to figure some things out alone. Finding a peer group isn't that difficult; there are trade and professional associations, user groups and LinkedIn groups just a few mouse-clicks away. I received the heads-up on this book from an author in my network.

Relationships with family and friends need nurturing, too. Those in your personal life can be cheerleaders and sounding boards. Because they have a personal stake, they'll also call you out — like O'Loughlin's friend did about anorexia. Enjoying time with them allows you to relax and reminds you that it's not all about you. When calling or meeting with a friend, O'Loughlin always makes it a point to schedule the next time; once it's in her calendar, it's pretty much set in stone.

The bottom line: Self-worth isn't defined by the status of your business.

Jim Pawlak is a nationally syndicated book reviewer.