I received an invitation recently to attend a sales webinar on effective questioning. Some of the promises included “Asking the right questions to overcome objections” and “How to sequence your questions for maximum yield.”
The invitation got me thinking about the power of questions (especially in sales situations), and how to effectively use questions in our interactions and in building relationships and trust.
First, a quick review of questions and how they can be used.
• Open questions seek information and usually start with “what” or “how.” You can learn a lot with open questions.
• Closed questions can be answered with a yes or no. Closed questions can limit your ability to learn.
• Limiting questions include two or three options, e.g., “Do you want to have Chinese or Italian for dinner?” Obviously, this limits the response.
• Leading questions do just that — they lead the other person, e.g.“When are you going to close the bid process?”
• Prompt questions are little interjections, such as “go on” or “say more.” These are useful for drawing out more thinking.
The assumption with questions is that they are used to gather information and to learn. And, they definitely do that, just not as often as you would think. It is thought that only 15 percent of questions actually seek to clarify information; 85 percent have unspoken ideas or rejection inside them.
Some examples: “You think that’ll fly?” (Rejection of what is being offered); “What if you hired Jen instead of Charlie?” (Hidden idea as to what that would accomplish.)
The webinar hosts seem to be working in the 85 percent realm, teaching the power of using questions to manipulate the situation. The challenge in using questions in this way is that it’s pretty transparent that you are using questions to manipulate the situation.
The purpose is to steer the conversation to a desired outcome. When the customer recognizes this, they also recognize that they are being sold to. Immediately, their defenses go up. What might have been a collaboration quickly becomes a joust.
The next time you ask a question, explore your own mind as to the type of question, and what you’re really trying to find out. If you’ve made up your mind about something, state your thinking instead of asking a limiting, leading or closed question. Simply ask what the other person thinks about it.
An even more powerful tool when you do ask a question is to offer, “Here’s what’s behind my question.” This level of transparency facilitates open and clear communications. It helps the customer because they do not have to busy their mind trying to figure out what you want to know. They can focus on the matter at hand.
When asked a question it is important and powerful to ask, “What’s behind your question?” It’s an open question, so we can learn a lot.
What’s behind your question enables you to focus in and respond to what the questioner is trying to learn from you. Otherwise, you both run the risk of getting an answer that is unrelated, oblique, or even misleading.
Use questions with a lot of self-awareness, both of your intent and what you want from the listener/customer.
In a strong relationship transparency, empathy and trust are critical. Effective questions can contribute to building all three dynamics. Manipulative questions can just as quickly tear them down.
Ken Cook is the co-founder of How to Who and co-author of “How to WHO: Selling Personified,” a book and program on building business through relationships. Learn more at www.howtowho.com.
