Employers usually expect some of their workers to have child-related absences — a sick son, a daughter who missed the bus, or any other type of home emergency.
And employers might not expect those types of excuses from employees in their 50s and 60s, but thousands of Connecticut grandparents are the only line of support for young relatives. And that, they say, is taking a toll on their working lives.
“There comes a time when you can’t take any more time off,” said Pam Scott-Ashe, a Hartford woman who took on the care of her great nephew, Jerelle. “But when it came to Jerelle, they either liked it or lumped it — he came first.”
Changed Plans
Her great nephew, now 14, came to Scott-Ashe and her husband when he was younger than two years old. For a couple then nearing retirement age, it threw their plans for a loop. Scott-Ashe eventually quit her job at the University of Connecticut Health Center to care for the boy. Her husband retired from the Postal Service, but now takes on part-time work to bring in extra income.
In Connecticut, 18,898 grandparents were responsible for their grandchildren’s upbringing as of 2000 Census numbers. As for Connecticut children, about 52,000 are being raised by grandparents or other relatives.
From an employer’s perspective, it’s much like having any worker with children to attend to. But older caregivers often have to worry more about their own health – and often, as with Scott-Ashe’s nephew, the child has extra medical or mental health needs.
She and her husband’s employers were understanding up to a point, she said, but their patience would sometimes run out.
Linda Cobbs of the North Central Area Agency on Aging in Hartford, said plenty of situations land children in their grandparents’ homes. Cobbs herself has taken on the care of her three grandchildren, and she said she has plenty of company.
“So many [grandparents] have stepped up to the plate to take responsibility of raising these children,” she said. The statistics are substantial but likely under-reported – many grandparents are ashamed to admit that they’ve had to take over for adult offspring who may be addicted to drugs or are otherwise failing as parents.
Only So Much Compassion
Most employers work along with grandparents in these situations, Cobbs said, especially if they value the grandparent as an employee. But getting squeezed between work and children always puts the pressure on, even with an understanding boss.
With no other alternative, some grandparents have to quit their jobs earlier than planned. Lee Hammer, a Hartford resident who took on the care of her three grandchildren for the past 15 years, said she had to quit her job as a bus driver for the Connecticut Transit Authority because the 12-hour shifts were too difficult to schedule around.
Like many grandparents, she turned to state welfare and disability payments. These days, more support services have come on line to help people in her situation, but when she first began raising her grandchildren she felt very isolated.
“When I got into it, I didn’t know of anybody [in my situation.] And I just kind of flew by the seat of my pants. Now they’ve got lots of groups and places you can get in touch with people, they’ll point you in the right direction,” Hammer said.
And there are bright sides for some working grandparents, Cobbs said. Having to raise grandchildren may have shut the door to on-time retirement, but many grandparents find having jobs and taking on their grandchildren more fulfilling than spending their golden years loafing around the house.
“They’re starting to feel like they’re needed,” she said.
